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Friday, November 17, 2017

A LITTLE OF THIS & A LOT OF THAT...



(Reworked from a January, 2014 post.  I'm 83 years old.  Expect a lot of reworked posts!!)

Are you obsessive-compulsive?  Do you like to have things in a strict order? Below are some suggestions on how your world might be improved:

Alphabet soup:

Soup in alphabetical order:

Nature's trees:

Do-it-yourself trees:

A busy park:

An orderly park:

A fruit salad:

A fruit salad 
(Not touching other foods):

Average parking lot:

Parking lot, color coded:
biggeekdad.com

I guess you'd really have to have OCD to use this
(yes--it's a real product):

When my sons were in Cub Scouts, they had a friend, Peter.  One day when he was home alone, his dad (who was colorblind) tried a new brand of crackers that his wife had recently purchased.  When he told his wife how much he liked them, she was a little surprised.  They were dog biscuits!!

Several years later, Matt's friend, Ben, deliberately drove his truck the wrong way over the spikes that are supposed to keep people from leaving someplace through the "enter only" lane.  He knew they wouldn't hurt his tires.  WRONG!!

In case you're wondering if other men think this way, let me offer you a statistic: the first testicular guard (cup) used in hockey was in 1874.  It took until 1974, 100 years later, that they  decided also using helmets would be a good idea.  'Nuff said!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?"

The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."

The second vampire says "I, too, wish for blood!"

The third vampire says "Give me plasma."

The bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This joke doesn't really belong anywhere--I just thought it was funny:

A Scottish old timer is in a bar, talking to a young man.  The old man says: "Lad, look out there to the field.  Do ya see that fence?  Look how well it's built.  I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands.  I piled it for months.  But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder?  Nooo.."   

Then the old man gestured at the bar.  "Look here at the bar.  Do ya see how smooth and just it is?  I planed that surface down by me own achin' back.  I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-Builder? Nooo..."  

Then the old man points out the window.  "Hey, laddy, look out to sea.  Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see?  I built that pier with the sweat off me back.  I nailed it board by board.  But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder?  Nooo..."   

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention. He leans closer to the young man and says "But ya f**k one goat.......” 













This has nothing to do with this post but
I am a very proud grandma.
My granddaughter, Lisa, spent a week with 
Jack Dorsey (co-founder and CEO of Twitter)
& wrote this (click here) & produced the video!!


You know what I hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back!!----fishducky

 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

A TEST: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?







There are many things that are obviously 
wrong & dangerous with the picture above.

The following pictures are much more subtle.
Can you tell what's wrong with them?

The photos are from BuzzFeed.
The captions are mine.
Scroll down slowly.
The answers are below each picture.













The Pixar lamp is always white.












Only 4 otters are allowed in a dog park at a time.













The flamingo in the center should be pink.













The iron is not plugged in.













The man does not have his pooper scooper.













It is politically incorrect to wear a fur coat on camera.













He told Life Alert he'd fallen & he can't get up & is waiting for them.













The panda is pissed because he couldn't get an upgrade to first class.













The officer on the right is explaining to his partner 
that the dry cleaners lost his uniform.













Leonardo DiCaprio should never be photographed before he shaves.













It is not necessary to hold a salute during a religious ceremony.













Maximum seating capacity of this stump is 3 cats.













This rare octopus has lost 7 of his arms & is
waiting for them to regenerate.













His seat belt is much too loose for safety.













You cannot take a selfie without a camera.













The horse is a secret agent plotting his escape after being interrogated.














If you turn the top picture over you can plainly see
that the instructor is teaching the couple a new routine for
"Dancing With The Bats".













He doesn't get the joke but is laughing to be polite.













He actually knows very little about auto mechanics but
is trying to save a buck.













The electrician on the left is training his new assistant.













She is not allowed on the furniture.













His wife needed the car & he was forced to use public transportation.













The kangaroo on the left is Italian & insists on talking with his hands.



Cartoons about misteaks mistakes:

























Hypothetically, what if there were no hypothetical questions?----fishducky